PBI - Preacher Bureau of Investigation 2012 All Rights Reserved
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Exposing The Greed In Our Pulpits
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Sure he can preach, but is he living a righteous life?
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When Jesus Is Not Enough
Removing the Additives & Artificial Flavoring From Church
PimPreacher.com New Orleans Bureau 08/29/2012
Have you ever sat through an entire church service and came away feeling like something was missing? Sure the church service included some of the best singers and musicians in your town, but you couldn’t really catch the same spirit / groove as the rest of the congregation. Did you come away from the experience feeling inadequate or like something was wrong with you?
When you eventually left your church did you feel like maybe they’re right (meaning the Pastor & congregation) and you could be wrong? Did you feel like the “crazy one” and everyone else was sane? Well here is the Good News – You’re not crazy, but you did leave a crazy place.
Unfortunately church has become a very weird and strange place with all of the spooky communion services, fake laying of hands, and dancing mimes (a fad that never seems to end). I wish I knew the Knuckle Heads responsible for reinventing our worship service by adding all of this non-sense, I would pay a month’s salary to have 20 minutes alone with them.
At least if we could blame one particular group like the Catholics or Pentecostals for derailing true worship then maybe, just maybe, we could revisit that time in history, diagnose it, and fix it in real time. As for right now we are stuck with a confused church that now suffers from spiritual amnesia, and paranoia, but it has succeeded in convincing you that you are the crazy one.
The Way You Feel Shows On Your Face
Long before you left your church the Pastor knew you were going to leave. From his Throne on-high he can look down and see all of the disgruntled Christian peasants separate from those who have fallen under the spell of his Mo-Jo. When the spell was broken there was something about you that put him immediately on guard and defensive, being that you no longer looked like the others.
You stopped amen-ing, clapping, shouting, jumping, fainting, convulsing, lusting, and running around the church upon the command of the Pastor. You simply stop everything as if something came over you allowing you to view your church behavior in a sort of body experience, and as a result you became totally disgusted. For the first time in your Christian life you asked yourself the questions that we all asked right before we left Gomorrah.
- What if Jesus appears right now and catches me in the place?
- What if Jesus enters the room and I am lying here on the floor because I just faked a “Slain in the Spirit” moment in order to stroke the ego of my Pastor?
That’s The Way OF The World
Pastors today are under increasing pressure to keep their church services intriguing and exciting. The fear is if their services are perceived as being boring then they would lose their members to the new Bright Skin / Pretty Preacher down the street, and that’s why we have all of the theatrics. The pressure to compete with the surrounding churches has created a sort of arms race whereas one pastor tries to out saturate his opponent with his new secret weapon.
Some pastors aim to have the best choir in the city because the Preacher’s Guide to Pimping says that “Black Folk” love music. Many African American pew setters cannot sit in a church that does not have a choir, B3 organ, drummer, and a bass player. In my Lower 9th Ward community the churches that became mega churches had mega choirs, it’s truly that simple.
I have now come to the realization that the same supply and demand principal that dominates the business world also dominates the church world. Pastors will continue to give the pews what they want in exchange for what they want, MONEY.
No you’re not crazy, but you did leave a crazy place. One of the members of Church Folk Revolution Radio said it best on the air “if you haven’t been kicked out of church then you agreed with everything.” Think about that for a second, you agreed with everything!
Everything the pastor said, you agreed with. You agreed with your pastor every time he slept with a woman outside of his marriage. You agreed with your Pastor every time the church refused to pay the light bill for a member in need.
You agreed with your pastor every time he said you have to give until it hurts. You agreed with your Pastor every time he taught that the tithe was a covenant connector between you and God. In sitting on your favorite pew quietly and calmly every Sunday, you showed your support by not saying anything at all about the sin your church was committing, thus agreeing with them all.
You’re Shining Star No Matter Who You Are
The reason God never allowed you to become too comfortable in your previous church was because he was going to have you confront your previous Church. What better person to deliver a word to Pharaoh than someone who once lived in his house. You have firsthand knowledge of how far off course your previous church really is – so what better person to confront the Pastor?
The reason God never allowed you to get too comfortable in your previous church was because truth and lies cannot cohabitate in the same body or building. The spirit of truth entered you one Sunday while you watched the entire circus and you knew at that exact moment your church was all vanity. You knew that a 2012 Bentley was not the reason Christ gave his life, and at some point your ministry lost all concern for the poor.
All you ever wanted was Jesus, not a synthetic version of him, but a true encounter with our Lord as you joined hands with fellow believers.
Yes God called you out of there and handpicked you for a time such as right now, when you would stand nose to nose, and toes to toes with a preacher that you once looked up to literally and actually. No you’re not crazy – You’re called by God.
The pastor did not throw you out of HIS Church, God pulled you out of HIS church through a painful experience that left you alone with God.
No church friends, no church events, no church services, no church affiliation, no church pride, no church location, no church locations, no church boat cruises, no church comedy night, no church singles ministry, no church step team, no church fashion show, no church choir live recordings, no church revivals, no church conferences, no church 501(C)3 Shelters, no church directors of hospitality, no church minister of music, no church chief administrator, no church first lady, no church first children, no church picnic, no church youth ministry, no church Easter Sunday services, no church political endorsements, no church family life center, no church media ministry, no church ministers alliance, no church trustee boards, and no church satellite churches!
Just Jesus, all by himself is sufficient enough for me. I don’t need to be entertained, tickled or flirted with, just talk about the Free Jesus and that will tie me over until our next religious meeting.
To all Pastors I leave you with the following; While you’re preparing your sermon that tells the story of what Jesus did over 2000 years ago, please allow me to share what Christ has done today – He called me out of a doomed Church - GLORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Psalm 42
King James Version 42:1-5
1. As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
2. My soul thirsteth for God, for the living God: when shall I come and appear before God?
3. My tears have been my meat day and night, while they continually say unto me, Where is thy God?
4. When I remember these things, I pour out my soul in me: for I had gone with the multitude, I went with them to the house of God, with the voice of joy and praise, with a multitude that kept holyday.
5. Why art thou cast down, O my soul? and why art thou disquieted in me? hope thou in God: for I shall yet praise him for the help of his countenance.
Church Folk Revolution!
